I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
