he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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