K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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