Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
