Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
