It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
