why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
