and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So much rum. So many feels.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
