I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You don't make any sense
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