he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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