if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
high people should be assigned attendants
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
