After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
