So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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