We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
