His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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