i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
