Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
