Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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