Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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