I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
