I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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