I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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