ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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