In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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