Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
