i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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