just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
