someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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