omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
