Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
