Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
