I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
