in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He better not be in your backpack
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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