I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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