alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
