Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
