That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
