I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
