9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
