I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
