i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
