yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
