i just google imaged poop.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize