woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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