She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
