Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
