The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
