so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
