I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
