ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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