I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
