I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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