Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
