Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
well you can't waste a boner
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
