I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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