Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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