the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
