Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
