I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
