I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
