just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
