Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My life is pants optional.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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