Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
